OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
