That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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