The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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