so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They are going to name an STD after you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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