Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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