It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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