It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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