he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
