its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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