my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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