sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
