look no pants
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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