So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
