it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
COCAINE IS GR8
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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