ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
