just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
