she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
