these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm both gender and math confused
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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