Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
