You made me cry and you don't even care
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
