how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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