apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
