i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
