Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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