He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
