I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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