i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
