Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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