Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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