Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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