what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
