Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
