Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
how does that bad decision feel?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
