So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
