You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
