I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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