no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
