"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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