haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
