after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he had hair everywhere except his balls
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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