tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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