am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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