i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
