Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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