I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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