I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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