the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
