I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
