Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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