so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
