He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
