i just wanna soil my oats bro
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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