i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
