singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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