if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
