are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
