Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
