I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
