yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
