One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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