i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
