and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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