Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
