do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
