so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize