Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
