What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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