After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
