i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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