Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
