You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
